Dr. Freud? A Moment Please

Which of the following is not true about my most recent dreams?

A. Reggie & Ladye Love Smith yelling at me while Michael W. Smith (no relation) laughs at me because I can't scrape an ice rink?

B. Being involved in a group psychiatry ADD assessment where they refer to Jesus as "Patrick" and my best friend performs an interpretive dance for Jesus/Patrick as a cracking egg?

C. Mistakenly sending a text message and subsequently defenestrating myself in horror as a way of escape from the ramifications of said text?

D. Creating a life-size Shark/Whale exhibit in a hollowed out boat hull with a team consisting of a small child, a 40-year-old HS dropout and (I think) Mel Brooks?

If you answered "None of the above", you would be totally right.

Apparently, my subconscious is a crazy person. If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a result of too many drugs/alcohol. But I know better. Maybe I should lay off the Dr. Pepper....it must be getting to me.

Is anyone out there a dream interpreter? Cause I have some questions for you!

Talk Thursday // Focus! Laser Beam!

I am an easily distractable person. I have what my pastor calls "AD...OLTACD" - Attention Deficit...oh look! There's a Chicken!" Disorder. Shiny things, conversations, music, shoelaces, Dr. Pepper, paper clips, folding napkins - anything can distract me from what whatever task is at hand.

So in order to help me once, my friend Tim demonstrated the noise of a laser beam to get me to focus...like a laser beam. "SHINGBANG!!" is the sound byte I hear every time I need to focus on something that I'm not currently focusing on.


As we approach the end of another school year (for some of us), the start of a highly distractable season (summer), and the impending glory of freedom (vacation), I want to ask how you, my loyal readers, focus. What methods/motivations do you utilize to help you push through on mundane tasks? Do you have a specific thing that helps settle your mind on work/school/tasks?


For me, NickelCreek, DeathCab for Cutie, Rascall Flatts, Billy Joel & Elton John are my "focus" music. In college, when I listened to these artists, I could bust out a paper in a matter of hours. And if they're in my head when I'm at work or doing school work now, I'm able to get through. As far as motivations, knowing that the end is nigh is always a brilliant motivator (probably because I know how far behind I am and in order to pass classes, I have to work hard to catch up!).


So what about you? Are you even in crunch time?



P.S. If there was a shark with a laser beam, I would TOTALLY focus!!!

Talk Thursday // No! No! No! No! No!

Last week I stole off Bryan Allain's blog to bring us our Talk Thursday about what things we fully support.

This week, because we like to do things in pairs and because my friend Jamie thought we should, I pose the antithesis to our previous question:


What things do you absolutely, completely, without reserve not support? I mean, what things in this world would you recommend only to your nemesis? Or just things you really don't like?


Here are mine:

* Treating animals like people (ie: dressing them, carrying them in purses, talking to them in baby-talk)

* Baby-talk

* Mt. Dew

* Racism

* Joel Osteen

* Porn/sex trafficking

* Verizon

* The Pittsburgh Steelers

* Bananas

* The multi-billion dollar robotic industry

* Proof-texting/using Bible verses out of context

* Cults

* Applications on Facebook

* The length of MLB & NBA seasons

* Chumming for sharks

* Feeding squirrels


So what about you?

Greatest Week of the Summer!

Most of you know that nothing thrills me more than a great shark story. If I'm watching a shark movie or show, I don't really pay attention to what else is going on around me.

So in honor of the greatest week of the summer, here are some fun shark factoids!

The whale shark is the largest shark in the ocean. According to the Discovery Channel, it has yet to be weighed, but they estimate an average weight to be 13 tons, with an average length around 50 ft.

This breed of shark is its own superhero! The rough sagre shark is said to emit a green luminescent light from it's belly. It is found in the Atlantic Ocean waters and is also called the "great lanternshark." Or, if it was a comicly-named shark, "Green Lantern Shark!" =)

Though not the largest or aggressive of the shark breeds, the blue shark is known for its ability to travel long distances because of its body shape and style. Also, they mature very quickly, becoming sexually active at 5 years old.... Babies makin' babies. It's a dang shame.

The lemon shark is aptly named for it's yellow-browned tinged coloring which helps to camouflage it on the sandy ocean floors.

Fun fact: Negaprion brevirostris literally means “the shark with the smooth teeth and the short snout.”

This obvious shark is a nomadic creature, finding the coral reefs a happy home. The hammerhead shark has few enemies, but will eat almost anything. Interestingly enough, the hammerhead will eat stingrays, who also have relatively few enemies. I think the hammerheads are taking revenge on Steve Irwin's untimely death...

NOW FOR MY FAVORITE!!!!!!!

It's true, I love the Great White. The deep-sea predator is feared and admired by all. There is no denying the power of this mighty sea creature, even though it is not the largest or most fierce fish.

The Great White Shark has a bite with the power of 1 ton/sq. inch. For their large and seemingly bulky bodies, they are deft and capable hunters, able to leap out of the water to catch their prey. Studies have shown that Great Whites only attack humans that look like their other prey (seals, sea lions, fish...), not as a menacing act of death.

I love sharks. I'm sad that this week is over, but rest assured, I will keep up on my fish facts and be ready for next year!

(All information here was gleaned from DiscoveryChannel.com. I'd hate to get in trouble for plagerizing...)