Here's a little fun-fact: today, January 20th, is Penguin Awareness Day.
For many of you, you think "oh! Penguins are so cute!"
For others, you don't care and now wish you could take back the 42 seconds it took you to link to this blog and read that sentence.
For me, I just don't care for penguins that much. (Please direct all hate-mail to sarniclew at gmail dot com.)
So instead of raving about how cute penguins are and their non-existant contribution to my life, I thought I would share with you:
7 Things That Are Better Than Penguins
Thing 1: Sandwiches
This might make me sound like Joey Tribbiani, but really? What's better than a sandwich? They have bread, they have meat, mine have mustard. What's not to love? And they provide great taste and sustenance. Can you do that, Penguin? I don't think so.
Thing 2: Justin Timberlake
Sexy, charming and humorous are three words I can use to describe JT. I don't wish to use any of those words on penguins.
Thing 3: Amazon.com
I like things that are resourceful. I like books, DVDs, and music. Amazon.com provides all of that. Penguins can give me the bird-flu. No bueno.
Thing 4: Wings
Sorry penguin, but honestly, what's up with you? You have wings but they don't work? Sure, you could say, "Ostriches have wings but they don't work, why don't you pick on them?!" Well, ostriches are ginormous and they are mean. I'm not about to pick a fight with them. Plus, flying is awesome; I totally wish I could.
Things 5 & 6: Sharks and Killer Whales
The underwater enemies of penguins are sharks and killer whales. And I love both of those things. Have you seen them?! They're massive and powerful and awesome and other amazing adjectives! Plus I'd so rather watch "Free Willy" or "Jaws" before "March of the Penguins" any day.
And the final thing that is better than penguins....
Thing 7: The Bible
Yeah, I had to toss that out there. No offense, penguin, but you just got the ultimate smack-down. Jesus-style. In all fairness, Jesus probably thinks you're pretty cool, but I don't see it in the Bible. So there!
You might really like penguins. And that's fine. But $5 says you can name 10 more things that are awesomer than penguins. Go on...I dare you. =)