Does anyone else ever have this experience?
Imagine, you're sitting with a friend, enjoying a nice frappucino from the 'Bucks, talking about the day, the weather, your feelings on the latest episode of American Idol, when your friend mentions something about an awesome thing they did/are going to do and SUDDENLY, without warning, you are FLOODED with feelings of jealousy and envy. (Sorry about that ridiculously long sentence.)
I have been getting those feelings a lot lately.
Recently a friend moved out to Seattle with another friend. She has a cute little apartment, with her friend, in a new neighborhood, close to her job. I cannot tell you how much I covet that little apartment.
A few months ago, a different friend called to tell me she'd bought her wedding dress. She's one of my dearest friends and the first thought, before "Congratualtions and tell me all about it!" was "Damn...why isn't that me??"
And just today, yet another friend told me about tentative plans to travel and I just want to hide in her suitcase and go with her.
I didn't know I was such a jealous person. And I hate it. I don't want to be a jealous person. I want to be someone who celebrates with other people over the good in their lives. At least do that before I allow myself to wallow in the restlessness that is my life right now.
And really, Paul doesn't help.
"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Phil. 4.11-13)
Great, just great. Now I'm jealous that Paul figured out contentment, but I don't know it.
Argh....when will I learn?