Thursday, July 1, 2010

Talk Thursday // All. By. Myself. Don'twannabe....t

Over the last few days, I've had the same conversation with several people: it is hard to make friends and build relationships as a post-college grad. For some reason, finding friends and gaining community gets more and more difficult, it seems.

And it apparently doesn't seem to matter if you're single, married, a cat lady or a Twilight fan - the post-college world is a hard one to live in.

For someone like me, who is EXTREMELY extroverted and needs people ALL. THE. TIME. this little paradigm shift for my life has been hard. Especially living in the Northwest where it is much more difficult to penetrate the thick walls that people put themselves in.

However, we are built for community - we are designed for it. We are created for relationships and friendships, even when they are hard to find.

So, in selfishness AND an act of mercy for those other Hephizbah readers in similar boats, let's talk. It'll be like a reader survey/an advice column. =)

Where are you in life? College, post-college, employed, not-employed, living at home, living on your own?
Where have you found relationships? How have you managed to build community and make friends in whatever stage you are in life? If you've done so successfully, can you give any one of us some advice?


Erica Grubaugh said...

Been living as a single post-grad in the middle of Springfield for two years, and YES, building friendships is difficult. I've been at the church I'm at now for almost two years and only just started hanging out with only just a couple of my church family members outside of church about a month and a half ago. Though, to be fair, I'm not so good at the reaching out and instigating conversation. Two years has, indeed, yielded few meaningful relationships for me, and some I wouldn't have at all were it not for rooming with a girl who is awfully assertive about making friends (Brittaney Whittenburg, in fact).
So I wish I had some really good and revolutionary advice, but all I can really say is, "I know, sweetie. I know."

Stephen said...

Ironic that only one person commented on this post?

Post-college, two-thirds employed, living with my new wife describes me to a T. I'm developing a few friendships(?) with some folks at work and church. The problem with the work people is that I don't see them regularly. The problem with the church people is that they live 30 minutes away, so I don't see them often. The problem with all these relationships is that I really don't spend TIME with the people.

So mostly I feel pretty friendless.

Sarah Lewie said...

Erica & Stephen,
I feel ya. Maybe we should get a group together and....oh wait.

It's just so hard - living in the "real world" doesn't come hand-in-hand with community. Nobody mentioned that when I signed up!

But it's good to hear that you both are moving forward and getting the ball rolling on new relationships. I feel your struggle and empathize indeed.