Today Is A Good Day For Bad Poetry // Friday edition

Miles and miles
Of files and files
Typing and griping -
It's the boredom I'm fighting
Rockin' country jams in my ears
Helps to chase away my working day tears
I'm double-fistin' the day with coffee & water
Haven't you heard? I'm Don & Juanita's daughter!
We're mid-way through the day -
"Dear Jesus, speed it up!", I pray
Once in a while I'll get up to walk
And mosey on over to where I can talk
People here think I'm a little weird
But it'd be worse if I was the lady with the beard
Soon enough I'll get to go home
"Can't I just rest?!", I'll inevitably moan
But my homework awaits
Thus this Friday night, I'll have no dates
Not really so shocking -
luckily my biological clock ain't tick-tocking
Wow, that got weird fast
I wonder how long I can make the awkward last....
This crappy poem took up some time
but I think I'm all out of rhyme(s)
I hope you all have a wonderful day
Go outside, get some sun & play!
TGIF!
Apparently that's all I got left.


(This poem brought to you in part by:
Insomniax Coffee Co. - Freshly Squeezed Juice is on 15th!
More Like Seuss - Read what the funny is!
Big R Radio - Country for everyday
&
The huge @$$ tower of files behind me)

Talk Thursday // Lessons Learned on a Thursday

I made two bad decisions before 8 am this morning:

1) I thought BigFoot Java would have decent coffee (they don't)

and

2) I thought taking the Valley freeway to work would be my best commuting option (it wasn't)

Because last week's "Humor Survey" was so much fun, let me conduct another survey - Weekday Morning Survey!

If you love Jesus, you'll answer these questions. If you want Tom Cruise to stop being crazy, you'll answer these questions. If you want to see that annoying co-worker leave, you'll answer these questions. If you want Brooks & Dunn to stay together, you'll answer these questions. And if you want an end to my ridiculous "If...Then" statements, you'll answer these questions.

1. What time do you have to be wherever it is you need to be (work, school, home) in the morning/afternoon/evening?

2. How do you get there?

3. What's your morning beverage of choice?

4. Are you a morning shower-er or an evening one? (Or are you like Matthew McCaugnehey and don't shower at all? (PS: ew))

And, PS, don't get BigFoot Java. They are now dead to me.

I have spoken (thanks Heather L-C). =)

Weekend Update

1 night of karaoke

+

1 day of moving

+

a night of dueling pianos

+

church stress

+

awesome Mexican birthday lunch

+

not doing any homework

+

spending time w/ my friends & family

_______________________________

GREAT TIMES!!!!

Thanks to everyone who made my Golden Birthday awesome! You guys are the best!

Talk Thursday // Getting to Know You

Apparently the things I find humorous in life do not match ya'll's sense of humor (according to recent reader comments). I can be ok with that.

But that makes me feel like I don't know you, the Hephzibah community, as well as I thought. (In my head I'm hearing Season 1 HIMYM: "I want to know your soul; what makes you cry?" HIMYM fans...you're welcome).

So today's Talk Thursday is less of a "discussion" and more of a reader survey. If you want to be awesome and famous, you will answer these questions. If you want an end to world hunger, you will answer these questions. If you want Lady Gaga to stop singing/being crazy, you will answer these questions. And if you want me to stop hounding you with promises I can't keep based off of your responses, you will answer these questions. =)

Let's talk. Thursday-style.

What is your favorite comedic movie?

Who is your favorite comedian?

What typically makes you laugh on a day-to-day basis?

Have you ever laughed so hard that you wet yourself? (And let's be honest...we've all done it, so there's no shame (ok, there's a little bit of shame, but no judgment (ok, there's a little bit of judgment, but there will be no mocking (that's not true....there will be mocking...))))

What would you say is the ratio of your laughter to your tears? And to clarify, this is tears of sadness, not tears of laughter.

How would you classify yourself as a laugher? The Silent Shaker, The Boisterous Boomer, The Snorter, The Tiny Tee-hee-hee-er?

7 Things That Make Me Laugh On A Regular Basis

and they're free for you!!!

7. When people fall down.

Don't you judge me! I will always ask if they are ok, but you better know that if you trip and fall in front of me, I will laugh heartily.

6. "Balls", "package", "sack", & "That's what she said!"

Every-freakin'-time... Apparently I'm a 13-yr-old boy trapped in a 25-yr-old girl's body (the psychologists would have a field day with that statement!).

5. Flight of the Conchords

Specifically these videos:

4. This guy's blog

3. Mel Brooks

His comedic timing is genius. I don't know how he does it, but I can't think of one Mel Brooks movie that isn't solid gold. Space Balls, Young Frankenstein, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Blazing Saddles...if you haven't seen these and/or don't think they are humorous, I don't know if we can be friends.

2. How I Met Your Mother

Granted, Seasons 1-3 are pure dynamite while 4 & 5 have been slacking a little but honestly...who doesn't want to see a grown up Doogie Howser whore it up all over NYC alongside my celebrity boyfriend and a grown up "One time, at band camp" Alyson Hannigan? It's LEGENDARY!

aaaaaaaaaaaand the number 1 thing that makes me laugh on a regular basis.....

1. Ol' Greg

I don't know why someone would make this video or why I think its so funny, but honestly....who DOESN'T laugh at a fish-man with a mangina?! Freaking hilarious.

Talk Thursday // Focus! Laser Beam!

I am an easily distractable person. I have what my pastor calls "AD...OLTACD" - Attention Deficit...oh look! There's a Chicken!" Disorder. Shiny things, conversations, music, shoelaces, Dr. Pepper, paper clips, folding napkins - anything can distract me from what whatever task is at hand.

So in order to help me once, my friend Tim demonstrated the noise of a laser beam to get me to focus...like a laser beam. "SHINGBANG!!" is the sound byte I hear every time I need to focus on something that I'm not currently focusing on.


As we approach the end of another school year (for some of us), the start of a highly distractable season (summer), and the impending glory of freedom (vacation), I want to ask how you, my loyal readers, focus. What methods/motivations do you utilize to help you push through on mundane tasks? Do you have a specific thing that helps settle your mind on work/school/tasks?


For me, NickelCreek, DeathCab for Cutie, Rascall Flatts, Billy Joel & Elton John are my "focus" music. In college, when I listened to these artists, I could bust out a paper in a matter of hours. And if they're in my head when I'm at work or doing school work now, I'm able to get through. As far as motivations, knowing that the end is nigh is always a brilliant motivator (probably because I know how far behind I am and in order to pass classes, I have to work hard to catch up!).


So what about you? Are you even in crunch time?



P.S. If there was a shark with a laser beam, I would TOTALLY focus!!!

iT Is wELl

You know when you're just driving along peacefully, you've just picked up the pace to be going with the flow of traffic well; the windows are down, the country music is blarin', and there's a reason to wear your sunglasses? Everything seems peaceful and calm and set?

Then all of a sudden you're hit broadside by 16-wheeler, spinning a 180 on the interstate.

Ok ok, don't worry....I wasn't literally tanked by a 16-wheeler recently. But figuratively I absolutely feel as though I've been run over out of nowhere.

And I'm sure you've had those days too.

Our current sermon series at church is the Fruits of the Spirit. Each week, we're learning about a specific fruit. We started with love, last week was joy and now we're approaching peace. I'm not sure if it's because I'm planning the lesson plans for the kids or because God thinks its funny, but for the last 3 weeks I've been dealing with that particular fruit a week before the sermon. Let me share:

The week of 3/29-4/4: Love - my heart was moved for our community, for my family, for my friends and I prayed that I would be able to show love to them in whatever way I could. This one was easier. Then...

4/5-4/10: Joy - my plate has been full to the brim and last week I was done. Done with school, done with work, done with people, and yet I felt God calling me not to give up hope, to trust Him to come through and I could rest in His joy & that the joy of the Lord would be my strength.

4/11-?: Peace - I am in an utter state of unrest. I can't concentrate on anything, I can't get my head out of this fog and I just want to escape. At this point, I freaking hate all 16-wheelers that want to broadside me without so much as a warning.

I do not want this pattern to continue - especially when it gets to self-control!

Does anyone else feel like this? Or am I just the broke-down car with her hazards on, waiting for the tow-truck?

Talk Thursday // Joy

Oh look....a Talk Thursday on a Thursday...how ideal. =)

So this Sunday in the Orchard (not a real orchard people - a figurative orchard), our little Veritas kiddos will be learning about the Fruit of the Spirit of Joy. It is elusive and abstract and tricky to wrap our minds around. My question was at first "How do I concretize joy for little people?" (not midgets, just young humans) But then, the more I considered it, the question became "What IS Joy?"

Is joy just being happy all the time? Is it not letting anything get you down? Is the joy joy joy joy down in your heart? (Where?!)

It seemed natural to equate joy with happiness to help the kids see the meaning. And the illustrations were easy - when you're sad, if you have Jesus, you have joy and you can smile. If you have to go to the dentist and are nervous or angry, if you have Jesus, you have joy and you can smile. If your sister punches you in the face and you're crying and bleeding and mad, if you have Jesus, you have joy and you can smile.

That seems right. It seems like people have always said that Christians need to always be happy and have a smile on their face and not let anything get them down.

But then I thought about it again.

If we are created in the image of God and our God is a God of deep, deep emotion (and not just the good ones!), why then does it follow that we as Christians should only emote happy things? When we're sad, we can be sad. When we're angry, it's ok to be angry, as long as we don't sin in our anger. Any emotion that we feel is alright - as long as it doesn't lead to or cause us to sin. If we teach that joy means happiness and that to follow Christ means always being happy, then we are teaching that sadness, sorrow, pain, anger, disappointment, depression, etc are sinful feelings.

I think that the opposite of Joy is Despair. If we lived our lives without the hope of Christ, it is far easier to fall into Despair. But we can have Joy because we have hope in the truth of Christ. We can be sad and angry and all those things and still have JOY because we can still trust Jesus to take care of us. That sounds naiive and too easy, but I think it's meant to be that way.

Our joy is not predicated upon our circumstances; our happiness can be.

So after all that, my question to you is:

Do you have joy?
Is it an easy thing for you to remember?
Do you have the wonderful-love-of-my-blessed-Redeemer-way-down-in-the-depths-of-your-heart? (thanks Psalty!)

The Marriage Builder

I'm not married. Nor have I ever been married. So when I recommend the thing I'm about to, I want you to know that it's coming from a perspective of someone who watches other people's marriages and hears the marriage secrets of her married friends, but has no first-hand experience.

For a class this semester I'm reading The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb. This might be a broad statement, but I honestly believe that anyone is married, will be married or has even thought about getting married needs to read this book. And even if marriage isn't on your mind, this book has some great insight for relationships in general.

Crabb writes from a counselor's point of view for other counselors, but he writes from a personal perspective of his own relationship with his wife. His intention is to help couples find that elusive "oneness" that most people expect in their marriage but can't seem to find. The crux of it all isn't better communication, better sex, or better action, but resting in the love of Christ. "Suuuure..." you say, "It's as easy as that." I have problems as a single lady resting in the love of Christ; I can't imagine what life would be like trying to live with someone else who also can't find rest in Him and both of us are struggling to have the other person meet our needs that can only be fulfilled in Christ.

Most devotional books really bother me because they say a lot but don't help see how to put those principles into concrete practice. Crabb, on the other hand, has concrete ways to daily practice ministering to one's spouse.

I have about 9 pages to go to end this bad boy. So if on page 147 he says "I love satan" or something like that, I'm very sorry (for SOOO many reasons). But if it ends as well as it has been going this whole time, you'll be in for a very helpful and eye-opening read.

Is anyone else reading something that we should all be reading? If so, what is it?

Talk Thursday // Eggs, Deities, and Marketing

Oh man! I totally got you guys! That was awesome! You totally thought!!...but I!!....oh man!! April Fool's Day classic!! Making you think there was no Talk Thursday! Bahahahahahaha!!!!!

Ok, that was a lot of exclamations. I apologize. Moving on....

Seeing as how we're in the spirit of the Easter season and there are so many different opinions and viewpoints on this particular holiday, I'd like to ask how you celebrate Easter. I assume that most of my readers don't have kids (and by "readers" I mean the 3 of you that I KNOW don't have kids), but if you did, what would you teach your children about Easter, the bunny, Jesus? How did your parents explain all of it to you? What did you do when you found the Easter Bunny wasn't real but he was your creepy neighbor? Whoa...weird.











And Bonus question: who would win in a street fight - Jesus or the Easter Bunny? Jesus has angels, the Easter Bunny has hard-boiled eggs flying 87 miles/hour at your face.






And go!