Thursday, May 13, 2010

Talk Thursday // Love Languages

Unless you've spent the last 8 years living under a rock in the Mojave, you've likely heard of Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages. I personally have never read it, but more times than I care to count, I have been asked to take quizzes, answer questionnaires, and engage in EXTRAORDINARILY long conversations to determine my love language and how those love languages interact with other peoples. It's like signs of the zodiac for Christian love.

And while, yes, I feel like it's a little cheesy, knowing other people's love languages has really helped.

When my BFF and I were living together in college, we struggled for a long time to understand each other because she didn't want to cuddle and I was never home. She was (and I'm fairly sure still is (you can clarify if I'm wrong, 'Dino)) quality time and acts of service. Once we finally vocalized those things, it enabled us to figure out a way to satisfy one another's "love tanks" as it were (hey, I didn't make it up, I just took it from Gary). We didn't always work towards loving one another in the way that we should have, but at least we couldn't say we were ignorant about them.

So anyway, this week's Talk Thursday is pretty simple:

What's your love language? Is how you receive love also the same way as you give love?

PS, the options are:
* Gifts
* Quality Time
* Physical Touch
* Acts of Service
* Words of Affirmation


Ms. Colbert said...

my love language is gifts, but I always hate to tell people that because I am afraid it makes me sound materialistic. I'm not. They don't have to be expensive or even cost anything...but it shows that they (the giver) was thinking about me at a certain time and thought to bring me something later.

I also love to give them.

stephy said...

I heard about love languages a lot growing up but had forgotten about them! I need to figure out what mine is. Is there a 'refined sugar' category? :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, quality time is still number one for me. Acts of service ties with physical touch now. I blame this on you... I mean, this is probably an influence of your impact on my life. :)


Sarah Lewie said...

I'm like an onion when it comes to my love language(s).

I am physical touch. But if you try to physically touch me without giving me words of affirmation first, I will cut off your hand.

On the flip side, if you HAVE given me words and then you don't touch me, I assume you hate me. I'm so complex. =)

Acts of service, quality time, and gifts all kind of tie in the way I receive love.

As far as giving love, I am touchy (in a good way) and I'm getting better about quality time. When I know someone needs it, I try harder to do that for them.

(Oh and roommate? You're welcome. =))

Stephy, I would say yes, there is a "refined sugar" category. But I assumed that just kind of came with the territory of being a girl? =)

Christopher Maples said...

Words and touch. It's awkward, considering my stance on taking compliments and accepting hugs.

Sarah said...

Sarah dear, you're speaking my language! I am about equal parts touch and words. But I also love gifts, both giving and getting them. So...basically, I can't pick one because I like them all. I'm a loving person, what can I say :)

Lydia said...

I tend to be a quality time/physical touch person. Although, sometimes it depends on who I'm with. I can tend to drift towards acts of service in showing love if I'm not comfortable enough to touch them and we've never had quality time. My lowest is easily giving gifts. Which is why I have gone to a number of weddings and birthday parties and completely forgotten to bring a gift.

I don't think the book is MUST read, but it can help. Mike's lowest is quality time, which is what I need. After a number of fights and misunderstands, I finally asked him to read the chapter on quality time. Made a huge difference immediately. It kinda amazes me how something so basic (and kinda cheesy) can make such a big difference in all kinds of relationships