Talk Friday//Thanksmas

Well, I was so busy stuffing my face and cheering against the Cowboys that I completely forgot to put up my Talk Thursday!

And as much as I love "giving Thanksgiving a chance" I must admit, I get far more excited for the day AFTER Thanksgiving.

Is it the shopping?, you ask.

HECK no. (That is so vehemently no that were this not a family-friendly blog, there would be expletives there.)

Is it the cold turkey sandwiches and sausage ball leftovers?, you ponder.

Ehh...Slightly.

Is it the fact that I can now listen to as many Christmas jams as I want completely guilt-free?

Absolutely.

As you are all (or should be) well aware, I am so against Christmas music before the day after Thanksgiving. However, today is Friday. Some people call it "Black Friday" - I call it "Steven Curtis Chapman/Amy Grant/NSYNC/Harry Connick Jr On Repeat" Day or SCCAGNSYNCHCJORD if you will. (Tell your friends - it's gonna be a thing). Today through December 27th I will delightfully and deliriously listen to a barrage of Christmas music - old, new, croonie, poppy. My ringtones have been set (The Trans-Siberian Orchestra, "Sleigh Ride" and "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies"), decorations will go up tomorrow and Christmas movie watching will commence soon.

So in the general fashion of a holiday mash-up:
What are you thankful for on Black Friday? Do you celebrate Christmas starting in August like the retail stores or do you wait for this day?

Happy Thanksmas! =)

Talk Thursday//Awkward Turtle

One of the greatest and most awkward games to play (in my humble opinion) is the Fortune Cookie Game. If you've never played it, you've likely lived under a rock for the last 82 years and you've obviously never had Chinese food with me. (And if the latter is true, let's go eat. I love sweet 'n sour chicken!)

But for any "newbies" out there, what you do is after eating your delicious and not-at-all nutritious sweet 'n sour chicken and moo goo gai pan, you enjoy a tastless, origami-cut cookie. When you get your fortune out, whatever it says, you tack on "in bed" at the end. Ex: "A thrilling time is in your immediate future....in bed." Or: "Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later...in bed." Giggling ensues, awkwardness commences...it's delightful. Unless you eat Chinese food with your parents/grandparents. Then intense amounts of blushing occurs but nothing is allowed to be verbalized...cause that's worse than awkward...that's awkWEIRD.

I love awkwardness. Mostly because I have no filter. And no shame. But also because I LOVE to tell stories. And awkward moments make the most amazing stories. Fortune cookie moments invite awkward, but so do other things.

Like getting caught checking out the ring finger of an incredibly good looking guy to hear "Yeah, my wife likes those same cups that you're holding in your hand."
Or
Running into a lightpole because you were too busy flirting than looking where you were going.
Or
Having a texting conversation about your ovaries with a boy you just met. And now will never likely talk to again.
Or having a piece of paper fall out of your Bible with a memory verse from 1 John on one side and the words "sex kitten" on the other. While in the seminary lounge. With seminarians around.

Wow...those were all about boys. And personal. You're welcome. =)

So since today is Talk Thursday and we like to share things:
What is the most awkward moment you've ever had? And how do you generally respond to super-awkward things? Do you invite the awkward (ie: the Fortune Cookie Game) or just fall into it (like whenever you're around a member of the opposite sex)?

Spirals

Discouragement is the vacuum of life.

But not in a cleanliness way.

It sucks out all joy.

All hope.

All possibility.

Discouragement drains the soul, leaving despair in it's wake.

Despair enables a negative perspective on everything.

Nothing is going...

Can go...

Or will go right.

No one can empathize.

And no one can understand.

Despair leads to a lack of faith.

In ourselves...

In our futures...

In our presents...

In God.

And once we've lost that....

We've lost it all.

On Why Being Human Sometimes Sucks

YesterdayI had to recite Genesis 1.1-5 in Hebrew to my professor and then read aloud Deuteronomy 6.4-9 to her. Because of the tremendous difficulty of this situation I forewarned her that sometimes, when I'm stressed and discouraged and I forget things and though Jesus and I are working on it, sometimes I swear.


I did not expect her reaction.

She laughed and said that it was her most favorite reading ever. And we hadn't even started yet. This made me feel good. Then when she composed herself (which was only barely composed) she said, "That is so refreshingly human, Sarah. I really appreciate that." This comment made me feel...not as good. And it took me well over an hour to be able to figure out why her comment said completely in kindness and as a compliment made my heart hurt a little.

I have tried to live my life as transparently as possible. 98% of the time I am the same Sarah on Friday nights that I am on Sunday mornings that I am on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. Obviously there are moments where I want to hide who I am (there's that pesky 2%) and I'll lie and distort who I am. And I also understand that there are situations that require less..."flamboyant" Sarah - ie: for work there is more structured behavioral expectation and maybe not swearing in from of my Orchard kiddos. But 98% of the time my personality doesn't change.

While I truly believe this is a good thing and that Jesus wants us to live our lives in vulnerability and openly and honestly about who we are in Him, there is still a tension.

As someone who wholeheartedly believes in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, I also believe that the same Spirit that rose Jesus Christ from the dead resides in my body. And I believe that the Bible tells us that those who are in faith in Jesus are to walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh (see the apostle Paul's discussion as it is pretty much a word-for-word screen shot of my brain).

We are called to live honestly, openly, vulnerably in communion with one another and with God in the hope that others will desire to be open and vulnerable and honest with themselves and with God. To this end I generally succeed.

However, we are also called to live holy lives, to be set apart, to walk by the power of the Spirit. Therein lies my tension.

As a seminarian, I am around a lot of very...I don't think pious is the right word...people. They are not "holier than thou" teetotalers, but they love Jesus with all their hearts and they talk about that and sometimes it makes me feel...too human in comparison. Because more often than not I find myself living completely in my humanity more than I find myself desiring to live as a holy child of God, physically, emotionally, mentally... Living in my humanity is comfortable, it is easy. I don't have to strive to be anything more than what I am. And I think God loves that. He wants us to just be.

But I know that He wants more for us as well. He wants us to live justly and love mercy and walk humbly and have our minds dwell on good things. But my humanity is so much more accessible. And that's frustrating.

I love that my Hebrew professor felt that my vulnerability made me more "human" and hopefully she felt the freedom to be vulnerable as well - since that is the goal.

But some days I wouldn't mind being told that it was refreshing how much my speech caused someone else to love Jesus.

Guess that's just the human in me though.

Non Date Date

So I'm going on what I call a "non date date" tonight.

I say it's a non-date because I asked (and tradition tells that girls don't ask boys out on dates (apparently traditionalists don't live in Seattle)) and because it was a fill-in situation thing - extra concert ticket for cute boy. =)

However, I am calling it a pseudo-date because a) it's a concert w/ a boy b) there has been much flirting and c) I spent WAY too much trying to plan this outfit. =)

I haven't dated in EONS of time (see last HORRIFIC date experience) so I'm a little concerned about how awkward I am. And I am indeed awkward.

So, what's a non-date to you? What's considered a date? How do people know?!

What a world, what a world, what a world, what a world.....

Talk Thursday//An Attitude of Gratitude

All of a sudden it's November. I don't know about ya'll but I did NOT see that one comin'. But here in the Northwest, it's been lovely. Crisp, cool days, a whistle of wind, leaves fluttering down - not quite crunchable, but almost.

However, I know that when the skies turn and the rain comes and stays. And stays....and stays...my attitude will also turn.

Lately I've been noticing that my reaction to my day is more closely linked to my attitude than the circumstances that arise. Some people have just sucktackular days - nothing goes right and calamity after calamity after calamity occur. Others have just crappy attitudes about random stuff - calamities or not.

I definitely fall into the latter category. My attitude drives my day and generally, it's not a good one. Grumbling and complaining about nothing and everything have become almost as much a part of my speech as conversations about Dr. Pepper, missing my sister and loving Veritas have been.

So, in honor of Thanksgiving, Talk Thursday and this crisp fall day: Do you possess an "attitude of gratitude" in the midst of even sucky circumstances? Or do you allow your attitude, in either good or bad situations to drive your day? If the latter, do you have any inclination to change this habit or are you ok with it?

Happy Thursday, kids!