You hear a great song, see a beautiful photo, read a fantastic story, or eat an incredible treat and just get defeated. I've written before about feeling jealous over other people's experiences, but this is a different kind of envy. It's not just that I want the same experiences people have, but I want to do what they can do.
My whole life I've summed up my abilities into: "I can do a little bit of a lot, but there's nothing exceptional." I can play the piano, but not that well; I crochet, but basically at best; I can translate Hebrew, but not as well as others; I write but not at the caliber I desire; I'm pretty nice, but certainly not the nicest person you've ever met. There is nothing that makes me stand out in the crowd.
I'm just me. And most days, that's simply not enough.
Yet, during little moments of clarity, I wonder if being me is my ability. Some people are able to endure - to keep going in the face of adversity; maybe I just keep going in the face of mediocrity.
I want to be more. But am I supposed to be?