Thursday, March 12, 2009

I'm Not Her Mom

Scene: U.S. Bank in Albertsons, 3/11/09, around 2 p.m. 

Characters: Sarah, Rachael, and a teller named Vladimir. 

(as they enter, Rachael and Sarah are discussing)

Rachael: ...are you sure you don't want to write my paper for me? I'll pay you! Please, please, please?

Sarah: No, I'm not going to write it for you. That's ridiculous. Shut up and let me deposit the only money I've seen in weeks.

Vladimir: Is she hitting you up for money again, Mom? (smirk) Don't let her have any. (smirk)

Rachael: Oh no...

Sarah: (with a tear in her eye) I'm not her mom. I'm only 23. 

Vladimir: Oh. You. Just. Look. Older. I'm. So. Sorry. (blushing and feeling like a major jackass)

Sarah: Now I know why I can't get a date. No one thinks I'm 23. Everyone thinks I'm in my 30's.

Seriously... this is me:

This is Rachael and me:

This is OUR MOTHER and us:

I'm happy that my mother looks younger than her years. But seriously?! I look old enough to have a 16 year old?! WTF?!

(A message to any guy who may have thought I was nice and fun, but immediately assumed I was in my early-mid 30's: I'm not. I'm 23. You can ask me out. Just think - when I'm in my 50's, I'll look like I'm in my 40's. (Example above))



MoMountainGrrl said...

A lady at the Gap once asked my mother and I if we were sisters.

I could never decide whether she thought I was older or if it is just the fact that my mom looks way young or if it was just the fact that she was trying to get us to buy more stuff.

Now, I just look like I am still in high school. Not so great if you want to teach high schoolers.

Jamie said...

Obviously Vladi is a moron on many levels and should be disregarded immediately. Maybe where he comes from women regulary give birth at the age of 7.

wv: unmen - what someone needs to do to men named Vladimir

JD said...

i went to middle school with a girl who has a 14 year old. i know i'm a little older than you are (not by much) but things happen.

if it makes you feel any better, people think jen is 18 and is surprised that she's married and has a kid.

Anonymous said...

I have a more pathetic story...

My brother, who is 13 MONTHS younger, brought his new girlfriend home to meet the family and the girlfriend thought I was his MOTHER!!! UGH!! I was 17 and he was 16 at the time!! Fortunetly, he moved on to brighter girlfriends.

Now, people think I am 10 years younger than I am - sweet revenge!!

Don't fret, it was probably your wise and mature aura that confused Vladimir.

Anne L.

Nic said...

Were you wearing "mom jeans"? ;)

Sara said...

I remember when I was 12 and Aaron and I were getting our pictures done. We were both dressed in Mariner outfits and I was holding him and this woman says, 'oh looks like you and Mommy are getting your photos done.'
I was mortified.

Jenny said...

a. that picture of just you is GORGEOUS! one of my faves of you ever! :)
b. you don't look like you are 30
c. I love you

TenaciousT said...

mwahaha... I get asked for my hall pass at school all the time, and I'm TWICE their age.