First Snowfall!

No church, no driving....

Good times of slippery danger. 

Less Like Scars

it's been a hard year
but i'm climbing out of the rubble
these lessons are hard
healing changes are subtle
but every day it's...

less like tearing, more like building
less like captive, more like willing
less like breakdown, more like surrender
less like haunting, more like remember

and i feel You here
and You're picking up the pieces
forever faithful
it seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
but You are able
and in Your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars and more like Character

less like a prison, more like my room
it's less like a casket, more like a womb
less like dying, more like transcending
less like fear, less like an ending

and i feel You here
and You're picking up the pieces
forever faithful
it seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
but You are able
and in Your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars

just a little while ago
i couldn't feel the power or the hope
i couldn't cope, i couldn't feel a thing
just a little while back
i was desperate, broken, laid out,
hoping You would come

and i need You
and i want You here
and i feel You
and i know You're here
and You're picking up the pieces
forever faithful
it seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
but You are able
and in Your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars and more like Character

Thanks Sara Groves, for verbalizing exactly where i am...one year from removed from everything i knew at the time. Thank You, God for your faithfulness and Your wonderous love that i can't begin to fathom.

Even if God nor i wanted the scars in the first place, at least they are proving to develop hopefully godly character in this long-dormant heart.

Talk Thursday // Christmas Love

Excluding baby Jesus, what is your favorite thing about Christmas or the Christmas season?

(Disclaimer: I only excluded baby Jesus so that you wouldn't feel compelled to give that answer out of a sense of necessity, not because I don't think Jesus should be part of Christmas. It was function...it's not like I say "Happy Holidays" or anything....) =)

(And another thing: is it just me or does it look like the sun is rising over Jesus' head? Oh. My. Gosh. "Sun rising"..."Son rising", what?! I love XPoW's!)

Just Me...That's All I Got

Does anyone else ever do this? 

You hear a great song, see a beautiful photo, read a fantastic story, or eat an incredible treat and just get defeated. I've written before about feeling jealous over other people's experiences, but this is a different kind of envy. It's not just that I want the same experiences people have, but I want to do what they can do. 

My whole life I've summed up my abilities into: "I can do a little bit of a lot, but there's nothing exceptional." I can play the piano, but not that well; I crochet, but basically at best; I can translate Hebrew, but not as well as others; I write but not at the caliber I desire; I'm pretty nice, but certainly not the nicest person you've ever met. There is nothing that makes me stand out in the crowd. 

I'm just me. And most days, that's simply not enough. 

Yet, during little moments of clarity, I wonder if being me is my ability. Some people are able to endure - to keep going in the face of adversity; maybe I just keep going in the face of mediocrity. 

I want to be more. But am I supposed to be? 

Word Verification

I see people leaving hilarious definitions of the word verifications they see when they want to publish a comment. And I think it's awesome.



So...what's yours?

Observations

* Strongbow is great. 

* It's obvious that I'm getting old when 10pm is super late - even on the weekend. 

* Impromtu girls' night is good for the soul. 

* The first Alli Rogers CD - Always Eden - is incredible. 

* Downtown Seattle at Christmas makes my heart happy. 

* It is highly irritating that some people can get away with wearing pj pants and hoodies to work when I can't even wear open-toed shoes .

* Jokes are always more hilarious when they include Old Testament humor.

* Even things that were once considered evil and wrong, can begin to grow on a person after time (in my case, the Gaither Vocal Band and maybe, somewhere down the road, bananas).

* My new Chanukah candles are awesome. 

* Books are like drugs...you can never get enough.

* I miss being around guys. 

* God confuses me, but I guess that's just part of His charm. 

Talk Thursday // Deserted Island

Deserted Island


You all know how this game is played.

Imagine you're stranded on a deserted island, all by yourself, for an indefinite period of time. Assuming there are survival resources on the island with you, what 5 items do you take with you? Are you more practical or indulgent or both? How will you stay sane?

I love Talk Thursdays!! =)




And Jonah wrap-up on SereYodh

"Flava" # Dos

December... wow.... I'm astonished. And stuff.

Well, I haven't done any link love since August, but I figured today would be a good day for that. 1) It's Monday 2) Filing = turning my brain to mush 3) Did I mention it's Monday?

So in the spirit of Christmas giving, here are some great blogs to check out. =)



* A Genuine Faith: This is Dr. Rodney Reeves' blog. If you went to SBU, you know him, you love him, now, you too can read him! Even if you didn't go to SBU, he's awesome and you should check it out. Some of it goes over my head. But you people are greatly smarter than me. So enjoy.

* Jesus Blog: This is a collaborative blog that is written by some people I know, some people I don't. But it's always good, always relevant and always honest. And I like those things.

* JustWallpaper & other good stuff: This is one of those people that I don't know from Adam. Randomly I happened across his blog and was hooked. It's creative-y & funny(-y). Those are things I appreicate. So should you.

* SereYodh: Yes, this is my other blog. Finishing up Jonah this week and starting Advent next. Yes, I have just pimped myself. And I'm not ashamed. =)

So there's your opportunity to read some more good stuff.

What are you reading? What do you think we should be reading too? Is it you? Go on ... "pimp" yourself, too. =)

Border Showdown

Missouri what?!

I'm prayin'....

NCCUtDAT

There are many principles that I live by. Some make sense, like looking both ways before crossing the street or that personal hygiene is important. Others don't make as much sense - i.e. refusing to sing "Happy Birthday" or kissing the steering wheel when going through a yellow light ( ;) ).

Not Celebrating Christmas Until the Day After Thanksgiving (or NCCUtDAT, if you will) is one I follow to the inth degree. Christmas lights, holiday songs, fake Christmas smiles from the Wal-Mart employees, eating gingerbread men... if I am within the vacinity of these things before the day after Thanksgiving, I am not a pleasant person.

With that being said, it is now the day after Thanksgiving.

This means I will listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's "The Music of Christmas", Avalon's "Joy" and Harry Connick Jr's "When My Heart Finds Christmas" albums for the next 5 weeks. I have downloaded my annual Christmas ringtone ("ChristmasEve Sarajevo 224/Carol of the Bells" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, for those of you that care). I will string up Christmas lights around my bedroom window and I can begin buying Christmas gifts online while effectively avoiding all contact with shopping malls.

Maybe I'm a dork. And maybe I should really love doing Christmas-y things all year long because Jesus is cool.

But it really just comes down to principles.

Do you have Christmas principles?




And Jonah 3 wrap-up on SereYodh =)

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Talk Thursday // Happy Thanksgiving!

I know that the first thing everyone does on any major holiday is check my blog. And rest assured, I'm flattered. =)

Since Thanksgiving falls on a Thursday, let's use it as the springboard for Talk Thursday:

What is something you are thankful for?

What is something you are NOT thankful for?

Remember: it's all about an attitude of gratitude. Gotta love cliches. 

Eat copious amounts of turkey. Have a happy Thanksgiving. 

I'm Not Alone

(taken from a hilarious webcomic:

XKCD.com)

And check out the new posts on SereYodh: Jonah 3 =)

Honesty

I doubt the validity of my faith.

I doubt the historicity of Biblical texts.

I doubt the inerrancy of the Bible.

I doubt that my prayers get heard.

I doubt that God loves me the way He says He does.

I doubt that life will one day be ok.

I doubt that God's love is never-ceasing.


I don't want to doubt. Doubt Him, doubt others, doubt myself. But I do. And some days I feel helpless to stop it.

Does this make me less of a Christian? Does it mean that God is pissed because of me and my distrust? Often that feels true. But in spite of my doubt and my questions and my antagonism, God still remains true and I just need to hold onto that.


But some days it's just harder to believe.

Talk Thursday // Phobophobia

So this morning I was getting ready for my day, I had just stepped out of the shower, and there, on my ceiling, was a spider. Now, I don't know about ya'll, but I can't STAND spiders. If I see one, or hear a story about one, I can feel them crawling on me. Then I see myself incapacitated by their venom and wrapped up in a web of nasty, about to be some spider-creepo's tasty treat.

At any rate, I decided to be brave (for once) and rather than let Mr. Spider continue on his path across my room, I would take action. I steeled myself for the deed and clambered up onto a chair with my piece of tissue held high. Unbeknownst to me, spiders are highly intuitive (possibly clairvoyant) and just as I was reaching to kill the vile little demon creature, he jumped away! I have no idea where he landed. For all I know he could be in my purse or on my bed, or on my bathrobe. Since I have no way of knowing, I will be paranoid until he is dead. ("D-E-D dead" name that quote!)

I share this story with you this morning to let you in on one of my little fears - spiders, and really all bugs/insects/things that crawl (yes, including babies).

So the question today: what's your fear? Are you arachnophobic, hydrophobic, germaphobic, chaetophobic, homophobic, lygophobic? (Thanks Phobia List!)

Me: arachophobic (as already stated), eremophobic (fear of being alone or of lonliness), Logizomechanophobia (fear of computers, but in my case, we'll just say robots).

And, new post on sereyodh: Jonah 2, part 2

Twilight

I'm pretty much obsessed with these books right now. I've read the first three. And I can't WAIT to get my hands on the fourth (and last).

There is something so sexy hott about vampires - I don't know what it is. But dang. Woah dang.

And they are making a movie. My sis and I may need to go the midnight showing on Thursday.

If you want a gripping, not at all dodgy, but completely enthralling read, you should check them out.

Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn.

It's like my version of the Harry Potter series.

Only hotter. =)

PS: Check out the new Jonah post on sereyodh.

A New Phase

If you know me, you know I'm scared to death of making decisions. Even the smallest of decisions are fraught with worry and dismay - where to eat for dinner, what to wear to church, what to do for the next five minutes. It's ridiculous, I tell ya.

But I've made a big decision. And God has been so good to continue guarding my heart and mind in this.

I will be attending Multnomah Seminary in Portland, OR starting this coming January.

(If you're able, imagine a jumping up and down/dancing like a fool Sarah right about now...cause that's how I feel.)

Seminary has been a long process, but I'm so excited to start something new, to be working for something, to have a goal, a purpose. And I get to do it close to home.

Thanks God. For keeping my spirit in tune with Yours. For guarding my heart and mind in Christ. For opening new doors. For closing doors that didn't line up with what You wanted for me. For putting people in my life to support and encourage. For opportunities. For growth. For Your unfailing faithfulness. Thanks.

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk Thursday // 'Fess Up

Confession time:

I love hymns.

It's true. I know that hymns don't jive with being relevant in our postmodern world, but I just can't help myself. Bulwarks and Ebenezers and being washed in the blood of the Lamb...it moves me. My world could live in the Southern Baptist Hymnal (from 1994). And I won't even begin to discuss how I feel about Maranatha music! ;)

The second part to my little confession is that I don't really care for much of the new praise and worship music coming out right now (except for Chris Tomlin's new song "Jesus Messiah" - I LOVE that!). The problem is that I compare them lyrically and melodically and theologically. I'm trying to be better, but sometimes I just get "whelmed" in the music.

So here's the question:

Are you old-school or new-school? Do you love the "golden oldies" caught in that musty smell of the hand-held hymnal? Or are you excited to read your words on PowerPoint, slammin' with Chris Tomlin and Crowder and Darlene Zscheck and the Hillsong gang? If you love hymns, what's your favorite?

And check out the new posts on SereYodh - Jonah 1. =)

I...Love....Foot...Ball!!!!

Well, kids, we're at the half-way mark for the football season. And I've been more than slightly disappointed in some of my teams and more than gloriously delirious in others.

So without further ado, here are Sarah's Top Teams' Rankings:

* Mizzou Tigers: Currently #12th in the BCS and the AP, with a 8-2 record. Yeah, that's right. And in two weeks: going against the KU Jayhawks. I forsee good things. =)

* Seattle Seahawks: This has been a DISGRACEFUL season for us. I don't even want to say what their record is. But I will. 2-7. Poor Mike Holmgren; it's his last year and his team is sucking up football. Sadly, though, because of our standings in our division, we're STILL not in last place, even with such a pitiful season trailing us. Pansy football players.... this is worse than high school. And yet, I still hope....

* Luckily, my back-up team, the TENNESSEE TITANS! are rockin' the NFL right now. Currently in 1st place with a 9-0 record, I think this is the Titans year, baby. And just so you all know, I'm not a "fairweather" Seattle fan, I'm just keepin' the love in the family. (Cause we're from TN.)

Oh you oddly-shaped piece of stuffed pigskin; how you make my heart happy.

And new post on SereYodh: Jonah 1.1-3

Talk Thursday // Politics, Racism & Stephen Colbert

I know I said I wasn't going to blog about the election and politics, but in keeping with the spirit of the season: Let's talk Obama.

Stephen Colbert (love of my life) said last night that "Since we now have a black president, racism is over." Exaggeration? Probably. But it's a thought.



So let's talk. How do you feel?

It's a Wednesday

Apparently, it's a requirement to talk about the elections.

I'm a rebel.

So I'm going to talk about my new idea for a bed.

Since I've moved home, I've been in a twin. And it's miserable. Sure, I'm grateful to have a bed and I know I shouldn't complain, but when you had a bigger bed before, it's hard to revert. But, I've found something interesting on this here interweb: hammocks.

Yes, I think hammocks are my new sleeping future. Apparently, they are good for chronic back pain (which I have) and they are super comfy (which I love) AND they can hold more than me (which isn't an issue now, but M'Shallah, it will be one day).

Therefore I give you what I think the future of Sarah's slumber will be:

Oh yes - it's a Mayan sleeping hammock. Colorful, apparently comfy and not an altogether bad price.

Am I crazy? It's possible. But I'm all about new ideas and fun times. =)

And PS: check out the new post on sereyodh - intro to Jonah.