How to Start Your Morning

This was the coffee sleeve on my hot chocolate this morning. Now, this people, this is the way to start an early Tuesday morning. I even forgave my hot chocolate for being so weak and watered down because it was so complimentary.

I'm obviously a words person.

How's the best way you start your morning?

PS: New blog game starts tomorrow. Get excited and get your game faces on! =)

There's No Place Like Home, There's No Place Like Home....

Well, I clicked my little sparkly flats together and found myself back in Missouri (thankfully not Kansas) this last week. It was good to see my friends and utterly refreshing to spend time with peoople my own age and relative place in life. During the whirlwind that was my week away, there was a wedding, a bridal shower, a shopping spree, too many rushed dinners, lots of awkward hugs, a birthday party, a moving extravaganza, and entirely not enough time with people that I love and miss terribly.

And in spite of all that, I was homesick.

I do not know what is wrong with me. I get "homesick" for Missouri and while I'm there, I get "homesick" for Washington. There is some kind of disconnect in my brain, I think.

It was a completely exhausting, much needed week away. And I'm glad that I'm back.

Perhaps I've been wrong all along; maybe home isn't always simply where my stuff is. Home is where I feel vulnerable and accepted in that vulnerability. Completely safe from judgment and derision, welcomed to share in community and desired for who I am and what I can offer. And to be honest, some days that changes. Some days I am fully at home in Washington. This last week, there were days I felt right and some days I longed for home. A friend reminded me that we are created for something grander and all of what we know, what we encounter, what we love is sometimes only a reflection and a glimpse into what we were made for.

Thanks God, for giving me people who allow me to find home in You, wherever that may be. Thanks for continually being a rock of habitation to which I call. Thanks for always being home.

Drunk Pumpkin

"Dude, guys, I just so totally puked my brains out."

.

Already freaking not yet

"Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, the great army which I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you; then My people will never be put to shame. This you will know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and there is no other; and My people will never be put to shame." (Joel 2.25-27)

Anyone else ever feel like there have been locusts that have come through and just destroyed you? I feel like that a lot. In fact, I feel like that tonight. I spent the better part of my drive home begging God to take away the pain of the locusts' destruction. I want to know why I still struggle, why the locusts remain in my memory? Why can't they just be nothing more than the smallest of memories? I've repented; I've turned back to the Lord. So why? I want to be vindicated. I want to be restored fully. I want to feel that joy/satisfaction/redemption. And it sucks that it's not like that right now.

But Joel 2 reminded me that YHWH is doing that. He's done it. The curse of disobedience was broken on the cross. But it's an ongoing process. Which sucks too. YHWH promised to make up to His people the pain, the misfortune, the destruction they endured in disobedience due to their repentant hearts. If He promised it for the people of Judah, I think it's possible for us too.

It's October Already?!

I, for one, did not see this coming.

Oh well.

But fall means more football, crisp mornings, crunchy leaves, bonfires, long drives.

Let's hope I take the time to actually do some of that stuff.

And check this post out - for all of my whining about "what now, God?" I got punched in the face for "Now what, Sarah?"

Hope you have a great October 1st!

Much love from the West Coast!

Just a Paragraph

So I'm working on my application for seminary (yes...it's true...grad school), and in the midst of the "general biography" section, there was a question.

Describe your salvation experience and your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Then they proceed to give me three lines in which to explain all this. My first thought: how in the wizzle do I put all that into three lines?! You can't write really, really tiny or else the old people who read the applications can't read it. And they don't give you the opportunity to attach another piece of paper (and believe me, in other places, they give PLENTY of opportunities!). This application has to look classy, refined, mature, academic. Which leaves me with one choice: to reveal all that is my spiritual experience (i.e. my whole life) in a paragraph.

What are they thinking?!

At any rate, I attempted it. Trying to verbalize an entire lifetime with the Almighty is like trying to....do...something....really, really...difficult. (Sorry, my metaphorical outlet is on vacay today.)

How would YOU answer that question in a paragraph? What are your stories?


My feeble attempt (and I still may have to write small):

I was baptized at age 6. My mother says it was because I claimed Jesus was my best friend and I was at a Billy Graham crusade, but I honestly cannot remember. I grew up attending church and all church-related functions, assuming that because I did this, God and I were alright. It was not until late into high school that I realized "church Sarah" and "not-church Sarah" were not the same person. It was then that I remember truly surrendering my life to the Lord and knowing He was the Lord of my heart. Since then my relationship with Christ has waxed and waned. There are moments when His presence is palpable; other moments I feel almost like I've never experienced Him. In spite of my feelings, however, He has remained faithful. I am ever-learning more about Him, His nature, His work in the world and He is ever-guiding me to live in the Spirit. Sometimes I listen, but more often than not, I don't. But He, as always, remains by me, shaping me to be a person who desires His heart.

And the Winner Is!!!!!!!

Using a highly sophisticated randomization technique... ------>

(let's not tell Joe Langford I stole an ACF mug... ;) )



...the winner is Emily Huser with her submission of "Ping"!!!




Thank you for all for playing! I love contests and I love prizes! Yay!!! (So many exclamation marks.)



This is the start of a beautiful friendship...

A coward. And a scalliwag.

Okay...maybe not a scalliwag. But definitely a coward.

This week has been "LifeShare" week. I signed up to be intentional and bold with my faith and my speech. We prayed together for courage and boldness and I was pumped.

Then it got personal.

The challenge was to invite a friend to church. Either the internet church or the one we attend personally.

And I chickened out. Like a little girl.

See, being bold isn't so hard when it's people I can't see face-to-face. It's not so hard when I know those of you who read this. It's not so hard when I don't have to ask you questions and face awkward moments.

It's hard when you have to ask a friend to engage in something very personal and very intimate and very inciting.

All they can say is no. I guess if they wanted to, my friends could punch me in the face for asking. But I doubt it. There is no risk on my life; all there is the potential for a little weirdness.

There is however, risk on their's if I don't speak the Truth, if I don't allow opportunities for the Lord to work.

Yesterday, my pastor said "Bravery isn't the absense of fear; it's doing something in spite of being afraid." I can't be bold or intentional in my life, in my words, in my relationships if I live in fear of what could happen.

So, please pray for me. That I'll let the Lord's braverism (yes, it's a word) work through me to be obedient to Him. And I'll be praying for you that you'll be bold and intentional in your life as well.

WebChurch...Round 2 tonight

Well, I joined up with the LifeShare crew tonight and it was amazing. People were praying for each other, people they'd never met. Someone even prayed for me and I don't know them from Adam!
So if you want to watch or join, here's the proper link, as given to me by the paster over there.
11am tomorrow morning and other times this weekend! Check it out!

Love you guys!

***So I missed last night's LifeChurch. But I'll be there tonight!

8pm, CST (that's 6pm for you West Coasters) over at LifeChurch.tv. Since I wasn't there, I don't know if my links are broken or not. Hopefully they're ok.

But check it out.


Also, today's "word of the day" - tintinnabulation. Any guess?

See ya tonight!! =)

Church on the Web? What?!

The Internet is a funny thing. It's only been around for barely a generation, yet it's become a HUGE part of life. I know that if I don't check my Facebook/blog/Gmail/Xanga on a regular basis, I get a little panicky.

So here we are. Doing an aspect of life in the binary world. Yes, there are real people on the other sides of these screens, but for all practical purposes, the web is an outlet, an extension of a culture - not who we are, but maybe what we want to be.

Which makes it difficult sometimes to live life. I'll be honest, it's MUCH easier for me to tell the internet how I feel about some situation or internal conflict than it is to tell another person. I can edit my thoughts until they come out sounding pretty decent (I think). There's little stammering and I can make whatever point I want without interruption.

But my hope for this blog (and for a community of bloggers) is to live life intentionally. There are blogs I read everyday that shout community, reality, honesty, authenticity and love from every post.

So how to do we, as a web-community, do that here? Not forsaking the community of the people we actually live with, but also having purpose and passion here. How does that work? Can it?

Well, some of the people over at LifeChurch.tv are trying something new. They want to develop authenticity and community in this space that so many of us give so much time to. For the next week, they are hosting church via the Web. Weird? A little. But it's reaching people that may not normally go to "real-life" church.

The message is Jesus Christ and Him resurrected. This is just a new way to do it.

Starting tonight @ 8pm, CST, check out LifeChurch.tv. Engage in the worship, listen to the sermons, chat with people worshipping the same God all over the world.



Is this too much? Cool? What do you think?

Contest

**UPDATE**

I will be choosing a name on Monday, Sept. 22. That means you have until then to leave me more names for me to pick from! Yay! Thanks for the submissions so far! And don't worry - the prize is awesome! =)

*************

This is my new bamboo stalk. He or she will live at my desk at work for a little while.

However, I can't come up with an awesome name for my little friend. It would be super sad if it was just called "bamboo" forever. If you win, you will get a prize. Yay!

Names that are taken: Wallace, Deuce, Edgar, Beulah.

Good luck!

(And yes, this is a shameless ploy for comments. I thought my new "edgy" ~S~ signature would draw the masses. I was wrong.)

=)

Freedom. Beauty. Truth. Love.

I hate to tell you all this, but I signed us all up for something. You didn't really get a say. I'd apologize, but I'm not really sorry.

Starting next Wednesday, September 17th through September 24th, we're doing something different.

Something big.

Something awesome.

When I find out new details, I'll let you know.

But if you want to hear the "skinny" now, visit this guy's blog.

Let's rock this interweb for the glory of the Lord.

It's gonna be cool. You won't want to miss it. I promise.

=)

~S~

The Green-Eyed Monster Strikes Again

Does anyone else ever have this experience?

Imagine, you're sitting with a friend, enjoying a nice frappucino from the 'Bucks, talking about the day, the weather, your feelings on the latest episode of American Idol, when your friend mentions something about an awesome thing they did/are going to do and SUDDENLY, without warning, you are FLOODED with feelings of jealousy and envy. (Sorry about that ridiculously long sentence.)

I have been getting those feelings a lot lately.

Recently a friend moved out to Seattle with another friend. She has a cute little apartment, with her friend, in a new neighborhood, close to her job. I cannot tell you how much I covet that little apartment.

A few months ago, a different friend called to tell me she'd bought her wedding dress. She's one of my dearest friends and the first thought, before "Congratualtions and tell me all about it!" was "Damn...why isn't that me??"

And just today, yet another friend told me about tentative plans to travel and I just want to hide in her suitcase and go with her.

I didn't know I was such a jealous person. And I hate it. I don't want to be a jealous person. I want to be someone who celebrates with other people over the good in their lives. At least do that before I allow myself to wallow in the restlessness that is my life right now.

And really, Paul doesn't help.

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Phil. 4.11-13)

Great, just great. Now I'm jealous that Paul figured out contentment, but I don't know it.

Argh....when will I learn?

Greatest Parents Ever!

This is what my parents brought back from Eastern WA today:



Oh yes...that's right! SONIC!


Route 44 Cherry Limeade with extra limes & extra cherries!


YUM!!

AND...

A ChiliCheese Coney....

Thanks Mom & Dad...you have made my Monday a day of happiness.

*sigh* So good.

You Can Take the Girl Outta the Honky-Tonk...

...but you can't take the Honky-Tonk outta the Girl.

Have you ever felt like you probably would fit in better somewhere else? Not that where you are is bad, but you are mysteriously drawn to a way of life that is not where you currently are?

I think I would be totally at home in the Deep South. Maybe it's because my parents are born and raised Tennesseeans. I cut my "musical teeth" to Johnny Cash and Dolly and Tammy Wynette and George Jones and Loretta Lynn. Country music is definitely my BFF (sorry Adina).

I love the Smokies and "hollers" and BBQ's, fireflys and cicadas, deep southern drawls that make every word about 1.8 times longer, hot days and slow evenings, big hair. And good ol' country boys who are....something else altogether. ;)

Perhaps I've just been listening to too much country music or reading too many Nicholas Sparks' books, but if I had to make a change in location, I would head to the South. Maybe not forever, but just to see. And who knows? Maybe I would die.

But maybe I'd kick off my shoes and run in barefeet, where the grass and the dirt and the gravel all meet...
=)

Yee-haw!

"I feel the need...the need for speed!"

"Maverick, your ego's writing checks your body can't cash."

Every year, I watch Top Gun on Labor Day. In college, I think we lived for the volleyball scene. And you ALL know what scene I'm talking about. =)

This year was no different. We watched, we laughed, we even cried a little. Nothing better than a classically cheesy, dog-fight crazy, film of cinema awesome to make your day off great.

Tell me... do you have any Labor Day traditions? How did you celebrate your day off? Did you get the day off? Did you loose the "lovin' feelin'...woah..."?

Share the Well

This is Keyling Hernandez Martinez. She is 11 and lives in Nicaragua. She loves to play with dolls. i have been her World Vision sponsor for two years. And i have yet to write her. To communicate with her other than a monthly stipend for two years. i've intended to write her for 2 years. There are even several drafts of letters to her sitting in my desk, but they've never been sent.

Because that's usually what my intentions come down to.

Nothing.

But i want it to change. And i want you to hold me accountable.

i want to make a difference. Even if it's simply a letter saying hey to a little girl i've never met.

i wish i had millions of dollars to "make it rain" for people so they could feed their kids and have clean water and not live in alleys and get an education.

But i don't.

However, i do have a lot more than i need. i can make a difference. Even in the little things. Even in my intentions.

So can you.

What have you intended to do that you haven't done yet? Sponsor a child? Adopt a highway? Volunteer somewhere? Encourage a friend who's down? Find a church? Say hey to your co-worker?

Our intentions don't define who we are. Our actions do. And God acting in us to love a broken world will define who we are and to whom we belong.

Do something. While you're at it, check out World Vision or Compassion International or BloodWaterMission to see what's going on around the world to join in on.

And say a prayer for Keyling. Cause you can.

Trip Through Your Wires

I am not always proud of my Southern Baptist heritage. And when I read this, I kinda lost more hope.

They don't really want servant hearts; they want ultra-Baptists. And based on #'s 4, 5, 9 and my feelings on 10, I don't qualify. I can't decide if that's bad or not.

Southern Baptists made me sad today...

Today in Blog

For some, this man is simply a pundit.

For some, he is annoying.

Others say he has the moves of a jellyfish and the spine of a lobster.

I say, he may need to be my baby-daddy:

I loves me some Stephen T. Colbert. Mmmm....

"And that's The Word."

Hellfire & Brimstone

I think I'm bothered by something. And I don't know if I should be bothered or if it's the way things are and I need to just move on.

The other day I was discussing with someone some ideas about preaching out of Joel and Jonah. He asked me to look over some verses and get back to him with my thoughts. Two questions were raised and, really each deserves a post of it's own, but I'll try to condense it. He wondered how he would preach out of the prophets based on all the judgment going on in the prophecy; it's hard for congregations to listen to judgment sermons and not get lost is what I imagine he meant by that. He also asked why people would want to hear a sermon based on Jonah or Joel - other than people who want to just because it's in the Bible.

That's why.

And this is what bothers me.

I believe that as Christians grow in their maturity, in their faith, in their relationship with the Lord and with fellow believers, they should want to read the Bible because it's the Bible. Do we always? No. I was a Bible major for 4 years and there were days I had to read something and I simply wouldn't. Cause I just didn't want to. Some parts of the Bible are as entertaining as getting your teeth cleaned, listening to smooth jazz, driving through Kansas. I know this.

But we should want to. Not because of some legalistic reasoning or because we have to get "right" with God, to improve "our walk." It's the Word of God. It's awesome. I can't even begin to describe how utterly cool I think the Bible is, both from a spiritual and literary perspective.

I think the biggest reason people DON'T want to read their Bibles or study the Word is because they don't know how to. They haven't been given the opportunity to realize how cool it is.

When was the last time you heard a sermon preached on one of the minor prophets? Joel, Amos, Hosea, Malachi, Habbakuk, etc? I know people who don't even know that those are books in the Bible! Because they haven't been introduced. And I can think of very few people who are going to try and do it on their own. Because we are removed from their time and their language and their culture. However, that barrier doesn't make it any less applicable for us today. God's word is living and breathing, and it cuts across time and distance and language to reach us today.

If we choose not to preach and teach parts of Scripture that are difficult or hard to understand, we are going to miss out on telling people about the awesome God we serve.

So often people color God as distant and mean and destructive and cold. This is based on the little they know of the God of the OT. He's not a Gandalf-type God with a flowing beard and a robe who listens to angels play their harps. Nor is He is mean and judgmental God who waits to throw lightening bolts on people when they sin.

The God of the OT and of today is love and joy and restoration and comfort and longing and desire and mercy. He will do anything it takes for people to understand who He and what He longs to be for them. Locusts didn't work, exile didn't work. He even sent Himself in the form of a man to die on a cross for the people He loved. Does that sound like an vindictive or mean god? I don't think it does. His judgment is part and parcel of His great mercy (which is a post for another day). We can't skip over these difficult parts of scripture just because they aren't as "applicable" as Paul.

I think we don't give the people in our congregations enough credit when we think that they can't handle learning new things or things that are hard. Whether they are new Christians or "grew up in the church", people have brains. They are able to hear a word from the Lord, especially if it's HIS word.

This isn't a slam against pastors or teachers or preachers or churches or even my friend. This is just my heart saying that it's vital that we present the whole truth, every aspect of God's character to our churches. I long for people to read the Bible and get drawn into the love story. Because that's what it is.

A New Low

Wow... it's sad that this purple pen is the highlight of my work day....

What's the lamest part of your day?

Chomping at the Bit

I love figures of speech (FIG's, if you will). And this one is my new favorite expression. Mostly because I feel like I am doing just that. Although, in doing so, I'm metaphorically a horse. Which may or may not be a great thing...

At any rate....

Have you ever been in a place where you feel...purposeless? I don't even know if that's a real word, but that's how I feel.

I file.

I play online.

I go to bed.

I file.

I play online.

I go to bed.

Over and over and over and over and over......

I complain about not having time that's "my own", but honestly, I don't know what I'd do if I had that time. I have nothing to work on. No papers to write, nothing to prepare for, no agenda to keep.

So, I live "chomping at the bit", pining for a project or a purpose. (That was lot of 'p's...) I read tons of books with nowhere to file that information. And if I write papers without a class behind it, I just look like a dork.

And it wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't already been feeling this for over a year now.

God, don't You have a plan? Isn't there something I could be doing? If there is, can You please show me? Cause I'm tired of resting. I'm ready to rock the casbah. Let's kick this pig!

A Challenge

“It is wrong to assume that on the one hand there is a word, or a truth, and on the other hand there is a community existing as two separate entities, and that it would then be the task of the preacher to take this word, to manipulate and enliven it, in order to bring it within and apply it to the community. Rather, the Word moves along this path of its own accord. The preacher should and can do nothing more than be a servant of this movement inherent in the Word itself, and refrain from placing obstacles in its path.”—Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Discipleship (Bonhoeffer Works Vol. 4; Minneapolis: Fortress, 2001), pp. 227-28.

Bonhoeffer here is discussing the role of the preacher specifically, but couldn't we also draw the parallel for everyone? I may not be a preacher, but I want my life, in all capacities, to be a servant of God & to the Word of God. As Bonhoeffer suggests, let's strive to remove the obstacles that would hinder the Word from reaching people.

I don't know what this looks like, but I'll be thinking about it.

Beach Madness!

Yesterday was so gorgeous that Mom, Midge and I decided it would be a sin to stay inside.

So we hit Redondo Beach!

Rachael was a bit more excited than the rest of us...

Hangin' at the beach

Truth be told, I'm not a HUGE fan of sand, but it was nice to wiggle my toes in the warm beach.

Posers.... =)

That's how I feel about THAT!

I love this picture.

Sunset over Washington.... lovely.

How do YOU celebrate beautiful days?

Did Anyone Else See This Last Night?!

During the Olympic coverage last night, Bob Costas and some chick I didn't know began talking about the endangered Giant Panda. China is known for having the only panda reserve in the world for the Giant Panda and has been doing millions and millions of dollars in research to "up" the population.

This newslady went to the Wolong Panda Reserve in southeast China and met with the owner/proprietor/main research guy. One of the things they discussed was the breeding techniques that have been cultivated to produce more giant pandas. There are exercises to keep them strong and healthy, new diets, watching their mating rituals to know more about them. But the one that captured my attention:

PANDA PORN!!!

Yep. I couldn't find the link from last night, but here is a backdated article from MSNBC, talking about the "baby boom."

What the Deuce?

Today brought to you by the letter: M !

My primary task at work is to make these

look like this:

Pretty. Standard. Nice.

Then, I get to file them all on 6 rows of this:

All. Day. Long.

And those were just the "M"s...

After a while, this is me:

But at least, I make pretty pictures when bored in staff meetings:

It kinda makes me miss this job.

10 am.... Is it Friday yet???

Flavor of the Week. Err...Month

One of the blogs I subscribe to has a "flava" of the month to highlight some of the awesome blogs he reads. So, because it's Monday and filing has turned off my brain, I'm going to do that. Granted, I think only 4 of you read this, but I'll still bring out the "flava" and give a shout-out to the people that make my work day go by faster.

LINK LOVE FOR AUGUST:

Whittaker Woman - This is the blog of Heather Whittaker, a mom who lives in the ATL. I don't know her from Adam or Eve, so yes, I feel creepy reading her blog, about her kids and whatnot. However, there is so much love and authenticity there that it I just know, creepy or not, I'm not going to stop reading. I've told her and I think we're cool. But anyway, it's fun and creative. Check it out.

Ragamuffin Soul - Carlos Whittaker is on staff at Buckhead Church in ATL. His blog is a crazy mess of creativity & chaotic awesomeness. Again, it's the authenticity coupled to the random that's kept me hooked to reading it. He's married to Whittaker Woman and it's neat to see the love that is there, even on the webpages.

DBW3 - Dr. Ben Witherington is a professor of New Testament as Asbury Seminary. I first heard of him when he came to SBU in 2006 as a guest lecturer and it was not love at first hearing. But, over time, reading his work has matured my reading lens on Scripture. It's crazy how prolific he is. If you like the NT (and you can't say you don't b/c it's Jesus!), you should check out this blog.

The Prodigal Jon - Jon Acuff has a plethora of blogs and sadly, yes, I subscribe to all of them. Stuff Christians Like is a sarcastic and brilliant look at the Christian sub-culture we live in. If you work in a cubicle, don't read this; you'll look dumb trying to not laugh out loud. Very funny. I thank my roomie often for turning me onto it. 97secondswithgod is a daily devotional-esque walk through the Bible. He's just finished Genesis and is starting into Exodus. It's not expository in nature, but it's good. Really, really good. He has other ones, so you just need to go read them. But I will say that The Prodigal Jon is my favorite. Easily.

These are just the "big kids" of the blogging world (at least the minute part of it that I read). Next month there will be more.


Who do you read consistently? Do you read to pass the time or is the highlight of your day? =)






And yes, I just learned how to link. I feel cool. =)

Greatest Week of the Summer!

Most of you know that nothing thrills me more than a great shark story. If I'm watching a shark movie or show, I don't really pay attention to what else is going on around me.

So in honor of the greatest week of the summer, here are some fun shark factoids!

The whale shark is the largest shark in the ocean. According to the Discovery Channel, it has yet to be weighed, but they estimate an average weight to be 13 tons, with an average length around 50 ft.

This breed of shark is its own superhero! The rough sagre shark is said to emit a green luminescent light from it's belly. It is found in the Atlantic Ocean waters and is also called the "great lanternshark." Or, if it was a comicly-named shark, "Green Lantern Shark!" =)

Though not the largest or aggressive of the shark breeds, the blue shark is known for its ability to travel long distances because of its body shape and style. Also, they mature very quickly, becoming sexually active at 5 years old.... Babies makin' babies. It's a dang shame.

The lemon shark is aptly named for it's yellow-browned tinged coloring which helps to camouflage it on the sandy ocean floors.

Fun fact: Negaprion brevirostris literally means “the shark with the smooth teeth and the short snout.”

This obvious shark is a nomadic creature, finding the coral reefs a happy home. The hammerhead shark has few enemies, but will eat almost anything. Interestingly enough, the hammerhead will eat stingrays, who also have relatively few enemies. I think the hammerheads are taking revenge on Steve Irwin's untimely death...

NOW FOR MY FAVORITE!!!!!!!

It's true, I love the Great White. The deep-sea predator is feared and admired by all. There is no denying the power of this mighty sea creature, even though it is not the largest or most fierce fish.

The Great White Shark has a bite with the power of 1 ton/sq. inch. For their large and seemingly bulky bodies, they are deft and capable hunters, able to leap out of the water to catch their prey. Studies have shown that Great Whites only attack humans that look like their other prey (seals, sea lions, fish...), not as a menacing act of death.

I love sharks. I'm sad that this week is over, but rest assured, I will keep up on my fish facts and be ready for next year!

(All information here was gleaned from DiscoveryChannel.com. I'd hate to get in trouble for plagerizing...)

A little "home"sick

I miss Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper's...

I miss Cherry Limeades and Coney's...

I miss being warm...

I miss frozen custard concrete goodnesses...

I miss my other home...

I never thought I'd love the Midwest, but I do...

What are you homesick for right now?

God is so funny....

For the last several months (and really throughout my whole life), I've complained about God's silence concerning what I think are big life decisions. If I could pick how God communicated to me, I would have Him re-write the Bible as a "God's Plan for Sarah's Life" book. Not as applicable to anyone else, but hey...it would work for me.

God is a lot bigger than what I think He should be, though. And it both awes and cracks me up at the same time.

On Friday I was unofficially offered a permanent position at the place I'm temping. It is a substantial increase in pay and it has benefits. And for a gal with no insurance it sounds really great! Not five minutes after this conversation, I got in my car to go home and started praying about it. And as soon as I verbalized all the really great things that could happen if I took this job, I distinctly heard the Lord say to me, "Don't you trust Me?" To which I had to respond, "Um...no. Do You know me?"

After all these months of being (seemingly) quiet about my future, He responds to one idea with "Trust Me - I've got it taken care of."

"But God...I don't have insurance. What if something happens to me?"

"Trust Me."

"God, I could pay off my debts so much quicker. And You don't want me to have debt."

"Trust Me."

"God, I'd be able to vanpool for a minimal fee, thus saving mileage and gas. And gas is out the butt right now."

"Trust Me."

I realized (not so much in the moment, but later) that God talked to me. As much as I've said/complained lately about how little He's telling me, there He still is, giving me direction. He's just being choosy about what He says. I think I just want a God who is as verbose as I am (a scary thought!).

It's encouraging to know, however, that when I ask for direction, whether or not I hear a yes, He won't steer me in the wrong direction. Unless I disobey He won't let me do something that isn't inside His big picture plan. And right now I just have to trust Him to continue taking care of that. Insurance or not.

Which leads into the second funny/God-thing that happened today, in fact.

I was reading a blog this morning and the author was talking about how often he wishes God would speak audibly and give us very specific directions as to what He wants us to do (enter my interest). It went on to say that if God gave us said specific directions, like a map, how much more likely we would be to tell God "Hasta!" and rely solely on our little Google map and directions, rather than Him.

WHAM! Like a ton o' bricks! I would do that without a second look back. "Thanks God for the map! I got this taken care of! See ya later!" And God, being God, knows this and doesn't even want to give me that opportunity. Of which (some days) I am grateful. Even in His silence, He's still there, helping me learn to trust, encouraging me to keep listening. That's a good God, a good Abba.

Let's hope that since I know this, maybe I'll give Him a break from my whining. Maybe... =)

**Update**
Almost as soon as I was finished writing this post, my boss called me into her office to "officially" offer me the position. Could God be testing me? Tune in to find out. =)

Baby-sitting is not my strong suit....

Which is an understatement.

The other day, I watched my friend's little 3-yr-old for a couple hours. Three hours to be exact. That's all. I've spent more time with her just hanging out, but things were different when it was just me and Emily alone.

It started off alright. We watched some "Gilmore Girls", read a book, went for a walk. Then...things got weird.

Emily started repeating my name over and over and over and over and over...., then started yelling to watch some show that I had no idea what it was or where to find it. The child had gone crazy it seemed.

No, no. It was all me. I had no idea how to entertain a little girl for more than an hour and 1/2. I tried "Wow Wow Wubbzy" and "Blue's Blues", but it didn't work. She was climbing all over me and I was done. DONE!

How sad is that? That I couldn't watch my little Mexidorian baby for more than 2 hours without wanting to never have kids?

Wow! The new birth control.... BABYSITTING! =) Sure is workin' for me....

"If Only"

Yesterday I was reading a blog on saying the phrase "If Only". You should read it but basically it was about how we love to use the phrase "If only" seemingly to justify our actions or thoughts towards our circumstances.

"If only I had a better job/car/wife/roommate/sibling/parent...., I'd be better/happier/more succesful/less susceptible to temptation/satisfied."

This is just rotten thinking, but we all do it. I know I get caught in the web of thinking that if my circumstances were different then I'd be different.

But I got to thinking last night about how easy it is to use "If only" retrospectively.

"If only I'd taken that job/hadn't dated that person/listened to that advice/bought that thing..."

Maybe those things are all true. Maybe those things should or shouldn't have happened. However, it's easy to wallow in the past, to keep kicking yourself about things that can't be changed now.

My problem is that I tend to think that my mistakes rock God's plan (not in a good way):

"If only I'd not done______ or had done ______ like He told me to, then I'd be in His will now/ (or worse yet) He'd love me more."

I have a very small grasp on the greatness of God's mercy. However, from the little I comprehend, His love for us, His sheer delight in His children is not contingent upon our actions or lack of them. Yes, He wants us to obey and to follow His voice. And yes, there are consequences to the decisions we make, but His mercy extends past it.

It's an easy trap to get caught in and it's one I find myself bear-clawed in more often than not. But the Lord continues to reveal His faithfulness, His grace, His lovingkindness in my life. And hooray for us that those things are not predicated on what we think.

If God doesn't dwell in "If only...", why should we?